OLD LADIES VERSUS ASIANS

Well here I sit, out beside the pool in some pretty hot hot weather.  The ocean is as flat as piss on a plate as Spod used to say, the skies are an amazing blue, no fluffy clouds at all and happy people everywhere.

Its still breakfast and there is a plethora of fat people with loaded plates, French toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, quiche, toast, bagels, fruit, yoghurt, baked beans, grilled tomato, smoked herring, cheeses  etc…..waddling by.  And in the buffet area there are just too many people.  And old men who shuffle (and what’s with that, women do NOT shuffle like a lot of old men do and I can’t figure out why.)

 And old shuffling men budge in line in front of you.  They step right up in front of you just as you are heading into the scrambled egg pit.  Then with shaky hands they start to load eggs, ten little pieces at a time, onto their plate.  And consider yourself lucky if he doesn’t tip the plate and lose it all onto the floor.  I have either held plates or dished up old men more times than I can count.  Where is their keeper for heaven’s sake?  Oh there she is (wife) roaring around getting her own food and finding a table.  No shuffling there.

Yesterday we did something special.  We had lunch in one of the specialty restaurants.  The CrabShack.  OMG!!!  First they served us two massive deep fried prawns each, and two hush puppies with sauces.  Then a lovely bowl of clam chowder.  Next came the Royal boil.  Holy Hannah!!!  Alaskan crab, snow crab, mussels, clams, four more giant prawns cooked to perfection, baby onions, potato, and corn on the cob.  Oh and a vat of clarified butter each.  I couldn’t finish mine!  Seriously there was so much crab I simply couldn’t eat it all.  Thank goodness Monte finished it for me but it was a real push for him too.

Unfortunately it came back to haunt me a little later.  Across the back of the ship, way way up high is a cat walk of sorts.  In there is a nightclub called Skywalkers.  It’s quiet and awesome up there.  We were up there relaxing and I started to feel kinda queasy.  Had nothing to do with the calm seas.  And I started to notice that even though I had thoroughly cleaned my face and hands with towlettes, I smelt like butter.  As the minutes ticked by I got sicker and sicker.  Finally I went down to the room and took a very strong gravol.  Thank god for gravol.  Within ten minutes I felt like a new man.

Last night we went to a magic show.  It was pretty puzzling…we could NOT figure out how he did the tricks he did.  And he was a comedian….very very funny.  Totally enjoyable…except for the fact that we were crammed into a totally full, about five hundred seat theatre.  I hate people.  Just sayin’.  They sneeze all over the place, fart, old deaf men keep saying ‘what did he say?’ Really loud, old ladies shushing their stupid deaf husbands, people dropping their drinks….its pretty endless.

Today we got out of our room pretty late in the morning and went upstairs and miraculously got a table and had breakfast.  We then wandered around looking for a table to sit at, and managed to finally get one in the coffee shop.  Unfortunately an Asian couple came in and managed to get one too then proceeded to run around and haul every vacant chair over to their table.  This seriously pissed a few people off.  I seem to remember a few years ago on a particular cruise I was complaining about exactly the same thing!!

Anyway, this time one old lady actually had the cajones to say something.  She gave that Asian lady shit…hooping at her about now no one can use the other tables blah blah blah.  Asian lady told her to shut up.  Yup!!  Straight up…shut up.  Hahaha!!  And the fight was on.  So funny.  Another big huge younger woman joined in with the old white lady and both of them went after the Asian lady, and now the Asian lady had a few friends with her.  Finally a security person came over and made the Asians put it all back.  I got the heckadoodle out of there!

Anyhoo we are having a great time.  The food is super good which is a little unexpected.  The last Princess boat we were on the food wasn’t that stellar.  I just wish we could kind of eat more and not feel full all the time.

Anyway all for now.  We have one more at sea day then Honolulu.  And that is going to present a possible problem for us on our purchased tour.  We shall see.  TTYL


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