Maybe I should stop....stop thinking, stop believing, stop having faith in any good that should happen to me. Success seems like a mirage to me now. Positive thinking is not working. It won't. Call me stubborn but thats what I feel.
Writing gives me a strange solace. It helps me give coherent form to the myriad emotions and thoughts that I experience. Maybe I try too hard. I should stop working hard because those who don't are doing much better here. I now feel that I am truly alone. Alone in this pool of struggle that I myself dived into. Little did I know that I would be drowning....I sometimes wonder why all this is happening to me....
I'm letting out a scream but no one can hear it. Its stifled in all the unworthiness that surrounds me. I want to talk but find no words....Waiting for something good to happen.....Its been too long. How much longer do I have to wait? I am waiting because I now feel a sense of helplessness, a sudden loss of control...
I will end here.....I want this to pass.....to pass...to pass....soon!

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