---- expectations------

Expectations....such a loaded word...the cause of all unhappiness...Expecting something from someone or something comes naturally to me. I now make a conscious effort to not expect because I've been disappointed way too often in the recent past. I expect people to respond in ways that I would respond if I were them (or so I think). See, that is wrong because they are not me. It is so easy to lose touch with people who you thought you would never forget....Making that effort is necessary....I have also stopped expecting that a particular event will bring me joy because I now have proof that it didn't...because it didn't happen! I don't know if other events in the future will bring me joy that I would expect out of them so I choose not to....not to feel....not to look forward to...not to dream about. I believe responding in this manner will make sense because then I don't have to deal with the disappointment and tears that come to me so easily now. My friends describe me as someone who is always laughing...I'm in search of that illusion that was once me...I want something good to happen soon...to restore my faith in something I believe in strongly.....

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